Time today doesn't feel real.
I did some mushrooms because I got my period this morning and it upset me. I really thought I was pregnant... but definitely not... ugh...
So, we'll try again next month...
I did stuff today though the time slipped away and I feel like I haven't done anything. I enjoyed the trip but when I came down I regret it because I'd rather have gotten stuff done... weird huh? I feel like I should be able to relax and have fun but then when it comes down to it, the relaxing wasn't as good as when I accomplish things. Maybe it's because there are circumstances where I couldn't relax completely. Maybe it's because there are things that I wish were different so that I could relax fully. I don't know.
So, now I'm sitting here and I want to do more stuff but I can't decide what to do or if I even want to do anything. It's annoying. There is so much I should have done today but instead I felt bad for myself and didn't stick with what I should have done.
Tomorrow I have a lot of stuff to do and make up for. I'm not going to beat myself up tonight but maybe I can do a little more so that I don't feel like this night was a loss. I can maybe get some painting done and that would make me feel a hell of a lot better. Now what type of painting? I could paint the bathroom, I could work more on the paintings that are birthday presents, or I could paint the wooden book that I'm turning into a jewelry box. I'm gonna start with the bathroom I think. That will make me feel good.
I'm gonna set up all of my tomorrow things first and then I will start painting. If I get into a good roll, I'll keep painting the wooden box. I'm not sure what I want to paint on that box, the inside is golden now but I have no idea what I want to do for the cover. Maybe a landscape? Like a haunted castle in the mist kind of thing? I've never done that before, but it would be nice to do. It sounds nice at least. Okay I'm gonna get this started, and see how much I can get done tonight.
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