Oh today has been wonderful! I'm so excited because the act of getting my new laptop has reinvigorated my writing passions. I was able to break 50k words and finish chapter three in the first draft of N for Not Human. Right now I've written just about 2,000 words today and I either want to write a little bit more in that one, or start writing the new story that has been bouncing around inside my head called Anything for You Boys. It's about a widow trying to protect her two young sons from a supernatural beast. It's slightly western and survival horror vibes and I already did my little outline and brain dump in my notebook about what vibes I'm going for along with whatever bit of information I might need while writing.
I decided to start using a word tracker site to kinda boost myself a little more. It's called TrackBear and it's a website that you put your project in and all the information you want to and then you do a log of how many words or pages or chapters or whatever you want to set as the tracker. Then it makes a line graph for you and even though I've only been using it for two days, I'm already feeling the serotonin from it. And being able to post that I was able to break through that 50k mark, oh Gods I feel so accomplished.
Is there some rule somewhere that books are supposed to be around 90k words? I've been watching this great YouTuber, Meredith E. Phillips is her name, and I love her videos and watching her go through drafting a few books now. And that is the goal that she always mentions, and mentions that her agent tells her to aim for too. Now she isn't writing the same kind of books that I write and maybe that's why they have that goal? I don't know. I really wish I had some more author friends that I could talk to about this kind of stuff. I do have access to a author's discord group through another author who's videos I've been loving lately, Heart Breathings, and she is the one who made the amazing resources that I'm using for my November writing challenge. Is it silly to say that I'm scared to join an author's discord group? I'm scared that I'll make a fool out of myself or they will think I'm weird because I'm a horror writer. I'm worried about being judged about N and how far the story goes as far as gore and violence. I'm worried that I'll put myself out there as an autistic/ADHD person and get rejected again.
I've always had an easy time with making friends when it is face to face, like working together in an office or at classes and stuff. But I am not good at keeping up friendships. I'm very out of sight out of mind and that has made me flaky, well that and my chronic illnesses that I didn't recognize having until 2021ish. So I was never really able to advocate for myself since I didn't know what was happening, or what words to say to make other people understand what I was struggling with. I couldn't explain to employers that I am disabled with chronic illness and a condition that flares up and makes me pass out sometimes. Now I know those words and I've been turned down from every job application I have submitted in the last three years once I started getting diagnoses.
Oh well, it is what it is right now. I am working on making things and getting things better for me and my family. I am looking forward to the future because I am making good progression and it is starting to build up momentum. I am so excited about it. I deserve it, I've been working really hard for this.
Thank the Gods and the Universe for all the blessings that they have bestowed on me and I hope to continue to work and honor them with my works.
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