I woke up in a weird mood today. I've been having really horrible nightmares that are so realistic and annoying. It makes it hard to get shit done during the day because I have no energy and I'm just like straight up not in a good mood. Then I have to deal with the nonsense of whatever is going on in the day.
I managed to write a little over 1,000 words but I didn't feel up to talking to my new friend and I just felt really bad about that. I want friends and I wish it was easier for me to. I mean I'm going through stuff right now that is not something I can talk about with a friend I just made. It's just too much, but that's all I can think about right now.
Because I'm worried. I'm worried about a lot so I dunno... no wonder I can't sleep well. Ugh.
I want to get ready for the Rough Draft Challenge but now I have a lot of other crazy shit in my head and those things affect my ability to write. Like having enough money for food or if I'm going to get food snaps this month or anymore and if me and my family will be able to eat for the rest of the week, month, etc.... I don't know man...
I'm trying to do what I can to get money but I'm disabled and it's been impossible to find a job that will work with me.
I think that's why I have been really focusing on my writing and art lately. I just know if I could get my things in the right place and the right time I could start making some decent money with it. I don't know if that will end up being my books, comics, art, or maybe something completely different that will make that happen, but I know I have to keep trying.
I'm trying to get disability payments but my country doesn't even want to give food stamps so it's been a hard, many year fight. I'm doing my best to keep going and be positive and hopeful but it's really hard sometimes... maybe I just need a break and a good night's sleep. Or I really need things to get really better for everyone really quickly...
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