I was hit with a weird sickness that made me puke my guts out and then I slept in a really weird way so now I've been up like all night.
I've been playing video games and trying to untangle a big ball of yarn that I have to fix before I can finish crocheting my blanket. I did do some little things that I wanted to do today but really not much. Oh well, I'm sick, no one would expect me to do a bunch of stuff all sick. Right?
I think it's only me that expects it, but that's because I grew up with parents who didn't believe I was sick or didn't care and expected me to still be productive no matter what. I'm trying to fix that but I am not good at it. I still get so upset when I feel like my body has failed me, aka being sick or my disability flaring up. One day at a time, I try my best each day and don't beat myself up on the hard days.
I made a cute little goal tracker for the month of February. I had to change up the goals that I had set prior because my life took a turn and I need to focus my energies in a very specific area. And I didn't realize that these things were going to take place when I originally set the goals.
But that's the point of doing it the way I am this year, giving myself the grace to change things up as life changes. Giving myself the ability to put things down for now so I can pick them up again later when things calm back down. These things are really important to me because I am very hard on myself and that feels like the reason why I never finish anything. Because it will never live up to my own expectations and standards. I'm working through it, as I work through all of the little scars and shadows that are left after my twelve years of intense healing.
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