Oh... oh no everyone... this is crazy...
I just found out today that my fil had agreed to us being out of the house on the same day as closing day. Which is on Friday... and we thought that we were going to have a month to move. No, no, AND we don't have money, like any money, so we have to wait until the day of to do everything, so much shit... I am freaking out because I have to do it all. The rest of the adults in my house are just incapable of doing it, not to be mean, they just are for different reasons. One is too quick to anger, the other is a fucking moron. Okay maybe that was mean but he messed this all up so much and now I have to pull a rabbit out of my hat and fix it all while trying not to have a heart attack and pack the entire house in three fucking days...
Guys, I might be cooked...
No, no, I'm going to get through it. I'm going to make this... I hope...
I have been having heart palpitations all day... I'm also sick as shit and have a fever. I literally feel like I'm losing my mind, I have a headache, and feel like my head is splitting in two. I don't know how to do all the things I have to do and people are making it harder than it needs to be.
Oh Gods, please help me through this hard time. Please bless me with the ability to make it through this successfully and get us into our new house...
I've managed to write a little today... but everything I write feels meh. Maybe since I'm already feeling so shit, I should write Memoir of a Burden. That way I can use how horrible I feel for something good... and then I can distract my brain and maybe feel okay for a few moments... maybe...
I just want to cry and scream....
If we weren't lied to then we would have been able to plan and do the things we needed to do for the move a head of time. But NO, now we have to scrambled, I have to scramble, I really hate that it has all fallen on my shoulders again. I'm the youngest in the house, I'm not the home owner or family to the home owner since me and my fiance aren't married yet. I have the least legal say over what happens in this situation and everyone made sure it was that way at the beginning. Oh but as soon as things start going sideways "Maddie! Maddie! Help! Fix it!"
It's EXHAUSTING... I'm exhausted... Oh Gods please give me the strength to make it through this... I beg of you for your blessing and grace... thank you....
yeah...
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