Things have been going well but I still have this anxiety that is gripping at the back of my throat and won't let go. My heart keeps racing and I keep falling back into this spiral that is not helping me. But I also don't seem to have much control over it. I mean, I can stop the spiral but I can't stop the spiraling from starting. I guess that isn't really something I can control...
I had a meeting with my mom that was interesting but I don't really know what the outcome of it all was. Then I was expecting to hear from her tonight and I haven't... which is making my anxiety way worse.
I want to write but the words aren't coming today so I think I will just bed rot and let myself rest since I have to be up early tomorrow and I have to get a bunch of shit done. It's gonna be a long one but here's hoping that it is one of the last big push days I'll have to do like this.
I need a break. Badly. Then maybe the writing flow will come back.
I don't really feel like I have stuff to write at the moment because all of my energy is going towards all of this house stuff but of course it is, that is the number one priority until we are set up in our house.
That has to be my top priority because it doesn't matter if I can write, if I don't have my place set up, ya know?
I've been even finding it hard to keep writing my nightly blogs because I'm just out of spoons and really feel like I'm just saying the same things over and over. We're still at the hotel, I'm stressed and out of energy, and hopefully we'll be in the house soon. Same thing, day after day, but Tuesday should for sure be the day we are in our home. Gods' willing and with their blessings.
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