I went to sleep last night feeling sick as hell, couldn't sleep really at all, and then when I did finally get up at 6:30pm, yeah really, once I was up, I felt even more shitty!
So, it's been a rough day. And these meds don't seem to be helping much yet. I know they have to build up in your system but I feel like I goddamned zombie. My sleep hasn't gotten any better, and my dreams are insane. I mean they have always been insane but they are still bad. Just crazy.
But I'm not going to stop taking them. I know how important it is to push through this first month of bullshit.
I have been writing today. Writing my Bigfoot story that might be a short story or a novella. I'm just letting it be what it needs to be right now. Especially sine it's a first draft, and I don't have to make it good yet, I just have to make it exist. After that then I can make it good.
Speaking of, I've been reading through Cinder and Ash and I have to say it's pretty damn good so far. It's really hard to not just start editing but everyone says that you have to read through it first, then start editing. I don't know though, I never know if I need to follow those rules or if they are just things that people say because it helps for some people or what. That is one of those autism things that I'm never sure of. I mean I guess I should just keep going with my own thing and find what works best for me.
But I don't know what that is yet, because I'm so new to this. I'm just trying to get my debut novel to be a reality. I've wanted that for so many years but never thought I could do that because of my disabilities. I struggle hard with dyslexia and was told that I was too stupid to be a writer. I was told I was too something to do a lot of things in my childhood but that's why I'm working so hard now to be the person that I know I can be, do all of the things that I wanted to do.
I accept that I'm disabled, but I will not let that take away the things that I want to accomplish.
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