Today I had my court hearing for disability.
I think it went well, though I am nervous because there was a "vocational expert" who was trying to say that there were jobs out there that I could work even with the issues that have. Yeah lady you go ahead and find me an actual job that will accommodate my issues and won't fire me the first chance they get. I literally have people tell me that I'm a liability to their company because no one wants to have the possibility of a worker's comp case.
I went out with my mom and Sam today too. We talked and it went well. Mom bought me some stuff for Chucky to help him out and he is doing much better today. He's perked up, eating well, going to the bathroom easily, and I don't feel nearly as scared as I did last night.
I couldn't sleep because I kept having to stop and check him, make sure nothing happened to him... I had intrusive thoughts about waking up with him no longer with us... I am not over finding Evie like that, I really don't think I could handle it happening again...
I am still super tired, though I don't exactly want to go to sleep at this exact moment. I wanted to finish writing a substack essay about the struggles I've been having lately but I can always work more on that tomorrow.
I think we are going to do the flea bomb tomorrow. I hope that is the end of all of this bullshit saga of infestation because I am so fucking over it. SO OVER IT. Okay I think I will rest and try to go to sleep soon. Then I can get up at a decent time tomorrow.
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