My insomnia is ruining my life.
Not really... but it is getting worse and could get even worse soon. I stay up until 5, 6, sometimes even 7am and then sleep until 4 or 5pm. I hate it. I feel like a loser when I sleep like this. Then I can't get the things accomplished that I want to accomplish because I don't have enough hours in the day.
I could be doing SO MUCH MORE, if I could just sleep like a normal person and wake up at a decent time. I mean I'm not doing horribly with my productivity but I just know I could do so much more.
I managed to finish and publish my 30 Day Goal Planner on Etsy and the shop here today. I feel weird posting it. Maybe it's not good enough? What if people think it's stupid? I mean I guess they just wouldn't buy it if that's how they felt... I like it, I like it a lot actually. I can't wait to start using it tomorrow morning. I mostly filled it out today for myself and I just had to finish the rewards section and the daily schedule for tomorrow, my first day.
The pages were really easy to fill out and I thought the explanations I gave were easy to follow. I guess I'm just feeling a bit self conscious about it, but we'll see how it goes. I shared it to every page that I could think of so hopefully that will bring in some traction as well.
I wrote about a bit, maybe 900-1000 words? I think? I haven't done the calculations yet because I was going to get in a little more words before bed... maybe, or I'm going to cut some more stickers.
My personal curriculum is going AMAZING and it gave me the idea to create another digital product that is a personal curriculum template! That way people can do what I'm doing with similar success. Phil might be my guinea pig for that one since he already wants me to help him make a curriculum. I can see it now, I'll have a page that tells how to make a week by week curriculum that will actually teach you the subjects you are looking to learn.
Tomorrow morning, I am going to get up 10-11am at the latest, take my daily meds, then I'm going to do morning pages, morning stretching and meditation, my reward for that will be a nice bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich on an English muffin, and a citrus smoothie to get a good dose of vitamin c. All of that will be homemade because I bought all of the stuff to make those. Because that's what I've been craving. Then I have a list of chores and tasks I need to do tomorrow but I did something that took a bit of pressure off of my plate so I feel better about that.
Those above things are all part of my 30 day goal, maybe I should just call it 30DG so I don't have to type it all out lol. Anyways, all of that stuff, and a bit more, are part of that but I don't want to post all of the vulnerable details because yall don't need to see those lol.
I should be happy with my progress, I really should. I have been doing so much lately, and taking care of business even though I have been sick and still bleeding and crampy. AND not sleeping or having weird intense dreams and nightmares.
I used to sleepwalk, like when I was 5 and under and then it popped up again randomly in my life until I was in my mid twenties. I feel like it really had something to do with stress but I honestly couldn't tell you. But when I have bouts of insomnia and nightmares and night terrors, I start to worry that I will end up sleepwalking again. And last time I woke up walking up the stairs and almost fell. And I fell down stairs twice when I was a little girl. So, it's a pretty reasonable fear I think.
Let's hope that I fall asleep and have a good restful sleep.
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