I feel super gross today.
My period is super heavy and my sleep is still so fucking fucked. But I talked with my psychiatrist and she started me on a new medication and upped my dose of sleeping medicine so I'm hoping that that will help. I just took the first dose of those because I really want to fix my sleep schedule. It's 1:30ish right now and if I go to bed by 2-3am I will be happy. Because literally today I went to bed at 10am. Like that is just so crazy.
We of course didn't end up doing the flea bomb. I guess I don't feel as pressured to do it since my kid doesn't seem like he cares about coming back home now. I still don't know how to feel about all of that and being on my period is not helping because I feel too much of all the emotions. And I just want to be numb.
We'll work it out though. Whatever we have to do, we will get it worked out. We will be a family again and a happy family.
I got quite a bit of the house stuff done that I needed to do, which felt good. If I get some good sleep tonight, I'm going to get up in the morning and do a bunch more stuff. Mostly house work and fixing my garden which I have completely neglected and now it is super dead. Hopefully I'll be able to save my lemon tree but damn did I fuck that up. Oh well, life got crazy and I got depressed but I do feel like I'm getting better.
I think I can feel these new meds kicking in. Which is good. Oh I also drew another page of FLUFF. I've been doing good getting through that first chapter. I decided to get all of the inking done first which I was going and like fully finishing each page before moving on, which was fine but it made it a little harder to jump back into. Like I finished the first page a while ago, like a whiiiiiiiiiile ago, and then the second page took me forever to finally start. Then I did the whole process on that page and it made it take a long time. Now that I'm busting out the inking, each page has taken me WAY less time and it's easier to keep my characters consistent because it isn't so long in between me drawing them.
I did change a bit of the story in this chapter because when I originally wrote it, there was a group of boys bullying Carlotta but then I decided it would more likely be a group of girls. I kept a part where two boys are calling her names and then she runs into the bullies. So, I did have to change some of the talking too because it was like "I hate when boys pick on girls" from Camilla when she swoops in and saves her. But I think I fixed it. I think I'm on page five now? Yeah, yeah, because I just finished drawing page four. There isn't a ton of pages in this chapter (most of the chapters are short) so it should be a breeze to finish the inking and then I can color them. I'm hoping that I can finish this first chapter by the end of July.
I think I'm getting back into my notebooks and taking better care of myself again. I have been able to get some things done even with my weird sleeping and all of this nonsense that has been happening. I have been setting the notebook up at night which does seem to work better for me than trying to set up it after I get up in the morning.
I think I'm going to try to get ready and go to bed. I'm actually feeling pretty tired.
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